Love and Detach

It started too early, and took you by storm,
My quest for myself, and the breaking of norms.
You knew who I was, and felt I could not sustain,
But my heart was committed to the leap and flames.

And so began our journey of love, and hate
Nothing you said or did could work as bait
To steer me away from the battle inside.
The more you questioned, the more I would hide.

I sometimes try and imagine the hurt you must feel
To know that I am not that version of me
Who came into your arms without a moment of doubt
And bathed in your love before and after each bout.

You doubt that your love is not enough anymore,
That I may have swum too far from the shore.
You feel that I am gasping for breath in the tides,
You don't see me enough to comfort your eyes.

And that, my dear mother, is where your challenge lies,
To trust that you have raised me well enough to battle the knives.
I may appear tired, wounded and sore,
But there is a lot of your love left in store.

Yes, love and detach is your motto from now,
As you move forward to your place in the clouds.
And then, when I join you, you will finally see,
The innocent child, that is your version of me.